Sleep is for chelonians

Hitler experiences peer review

This is so true it's downright painful to watch. Mostly because of the laughter-induced stomach cramps, but also due to the mental echoes of actual review-induced pain. Once you've had a manuscript savaged by a Reviewer #3, the psychological scarring never really goes away.

An explanatory note, if you've never encountered the Hitler Rant Parody phenomenon before (what rock have you been living under?). The video clip is a short segment from the 2004 film "Der Untergang", which recounts the final few days of Hitler in his bunker; this scene in particular is when Hitler is told/realizes that the war is over and all is lost. Some time ago a cheeky molly came up with the idea of adding subtitles that make his rant about be something completely trivial. It seems the original parody was about a disappointing digital camera model (not the funniest, imho); since then it has spawned countless others about video games, computers, social events and even self-referential parodies about the phenomenon itself. I think this one might be my favorite though.

One mixed-up bird

That's me, migrating North for the winter. Seriously, check out this weather forecast for the next few days in Brookings, South Dakota. Which is where/when I'm going in the name of Science and, you know, stuff.

Dress me up in black and white and call me Dr. Penguin.

(Hey, unintended continuity with my previous post!)

Tactical Nuclear Penguin

As reported by the BBC News online service:

A controversial Scottish brewery has launched what it described as the world's strongest beer - with a 32% alcohol content.

Tactical Nuclear Penguin has been unveiled by BrewDog of Fraserburgh.

BrewDog was previously branded irresponsible for a 18.2% beer called Tokyo, which it then followed with a low alcohol beer called Nanny State.

I'm skeptical of the organoleptic qualities of the beverage in question, but I wouldn't mind trying a deci-pint of it. And I LOVE the name. Very spirited, if you'll pardon the lousy wordplay. The label is fun too, it reads:

This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance.

Well the, if you look for me this weekend, I shall be in the 'drawing room working on my aristocratic nonchalance.

Of course a bunch of people now have their knickers all up in a twist... which was obviously the point of the whole exercise. Mission accomplished, BrewDog! Have a biscuit.

Backhanded compliment

According to an online BBC News report on Belgian PM Herman van Rompuy being chosen to lead the EU:

French President Nicolas Sarkozy said it had been "a very wise decision" to choose a candidate from "an important country but not one of the most important countries, so that no-one will feel excluded" from EU debate.

Oh, so some EU countries are more important than others, hmm? *sound of teeth grating* Large, obviously. Influential, undoubtedly. Important? Well, perhaps, but no one with an ounce of diplomatic acumen would ever put it that way in public.

Arrogant little troll.

A ten year old with a credit card

Yup, that's me. Actually, two credit cards.

No, I haven't bought the brand new 8-core Mac Pro I've been drooling over in secret. And will continue drooling over for exactly six months. Which is the time it will take me to save up enough pennies to buy it. Yes, when I come back from Spain in May 2010 (I'll explain later) I plan to get myself an 8-core Mac Pro. Hmm. Oh yeah. 

In the meantime, gotta keep myself happy, right? Not that that's hard to do. But I've been seriously missing something that I discovered when I was ten and have been doing on and off ever since : fencing. No, not selling black market jewelry and stolen art (alternative meaning; look it up). I'm talking about swordplay. The modern sport version, anyway.

It's a bit complicated to do around here... there are a few clubs but nowhere I can go with public transportation. So I've been telling myself it was fine, I could do without. And that was true, mostly. For a while. Recently though, my armed hand has been itching more than usual. And with winter setting in, no chance for a good game of paintball to compensate. 

So I've come to a decision: I'm going to find some kind of solution. And I've taken the first step: I just procured myself a glove, an épée and a sabre. (By the way, I love internet shopping in the USA, there is absolutely no limit to what you can find and have delivered to your door -- at most you just have to have an adult sign for it; good thing I am one.) This way I can practice my basic moves, maybe get some muscle fiber back into my forearm. Work on the old lobster claw, yeah?

There is a risk of course. Couch cushion evisceration... it's not pretty.

Nietzsche would have loved the internet

Seriously -- the man was at his best when ranting from his soapbox. 

(Why soapbox? Why not any other kind of box you can get up on? Were soapboxes inordinately abundant at some time? I don't think I've ever even seen one. I use shower gel, mostly.)

Some time ago I came across a Penguin Classics edition combining "Twilight of the Idols" and "The Anti-Christ", and I must admit that what caught my eye was the subtitle "How to philosophize with a hammer". Sounds fun, right?

Army shtick

Yay for ending wars and stuff. And bringing down walls. Isn't November great? Of course it is. It has my birthday in it.

(Very articulate today, yes. Hey, I've been doing some serious writing. I'm all tapped out.)

So here's an army-related skit by my favorite standup comedian, Eddie Izzard. Heh, I just love his rambling style.

If you enjoyed that, allow me to suggest Cake Or Death (no, really).

Bold admissions

I received a music CD in the post today, a sort of "best of" from the Boston Baroque Ensemble that they are giving out to "frequent flyers" of the 2009-10 concert season. Very nice, I must say; I certainly appreciate the gesture, and the selection on the CD is very enjoyable.

The funny thing is that as I looked through the titles I noticed for the first time the undoubtedly unintended innuendo in the Part 2 chorus of Handel's Messiah, specifically in the subtitle: "All We Like Sheep". Cue un-PC jokes about lonely Welshmen. *giggle* This unfortunate subtitle is of course shortened from the lyric "All we like sheep have gone astray", which is then followed by some inane bleating about the Lord being their shepherd (hey, I love the music and the vocal melodies, but I find it best to ignore the religious blather).

That is definitely a case where a spot of punctuation might help avoid some unfortunate, ahh, misunderstandings. See the story of the panda that eats, shoots and leaves. 

Speaking of grammatical pedantry, I am occasionally accused (usually by someone whose grammar I have just corrected with reason) of being an obnoxious grammar nazi. So I had to laugh when I stumbled across this YouTube video excerpt from "The Life of Brian", Monty Python's immortal masterpiece (in my judgment, with the Holy Grail a close second).

I'm sorry, but I totally identify with the Roman. "Romanes eunt domus", indeed. For shame!

Xtreme TeamBuilding: the Academic Brainstorm Edition.

A few loose words about my experience of Maine Event, our annual week-long lab retreat at Harvard's Howell House in Kittery Point, ME.

Pictured here is the introductory "slide" for my session (note the high-tech multimedia presentation equipment), which I intended to preface with a brief historical note on the geopolitical origins of Belgium starting with the Romans and the well-known (in Belgium) Julius Cesar quote "Of all the peoples of Gaul, the Belgians are the bravest" (I'm afraid that when living abroad, I tend to get annoyingly nationalistic... but my colleagues don't complain as long as I keep a steady supply of beer and chocolate available).

This was to be my supporting figure, an astoundingly accurate map of the Old World drawn entirely in freehand with some cartographic assistance from the iPhone Google Maps application during lunch break (toot my own horn, moi? never, mon capitaine!).

As it happened, the map and its facetious labeling inspired our Great Leader, El Jefe, into a somewhat rambling but thoroughly enjoyable historico-philosophical commentary (see annotations in red) on Descartes and the roots of European Enlightenment.

Then we got into some hardcore discussions of genome sequencing, quorum sensing, bacterial conjugation and the ecology of small molecule production by Bacillus cereus, and that allowed me to refine my work plan for the coming year.

That's part of what Maine Event is like -- but it's also something completely different for someone else. And don't get me started on the food, drinks and oh yeah, the crazy games of after-dinner charades (official lab clue for "famous person": point at El Jefe). In all cases, it's intense, it's exhausting, it's immensely rewarding.

And this year we even got to learn a cool new dance move: the mating parade of the blue-footed booby. No kidding, send the boss to Galapagos and back he comes with tales of boobies, how serious is that ;-)

Libiamo, ne' lieti calici

Or should I say Follie! Follie! Delirio vano è questo!?

This news just in: my big genome sequencing project has been given the green light by the people in charge of the purse strings. Taxpayers of America, know this: your money will be well spent (for once).

Now for the hard/scary part: actually doing what I said I could do. *gloups*