Sleep is for chelonians

But is it absorbent enough?

I think it's fair to say that there's no love lost between the French and American peoples today. Forgotten are the close personal and political ties that bound the birth of these great Republics, or so it seems.

One can understand, I suppose, how the French would find it distasteful to fraternize with those war-mongering, culturally backwards hamburger-gobblers, and no one could possibly fault the Americans for sneering at that lot of artsy-fartsy surrender monkeys.

As an independent observer, entirely objective and without any personal stake in the matter (a native French speaker dating an American, I have *cough* no bias whatsoever *cough*) I feel obliged to point out that the two camps have far more in common than either would be comfortable admitting.

It would be heartwarming to be able to say that both are making equal gestures to bridge the distance between them, and it pains me to give less credit to the US considering their recent progress with socialized healthcare (can we do something about DADT next?) but this week the prize for effort must go to France. 

As reported by the BBC,

France's justice minister has called for legal action to be taken against a man who was photographed wiping his bottom with the French flag.

[...] But under French law, it is only an offence to insult the flag in an event organised by the public authorities - not in a private, cultural event such as this, adds our correspondent.

Ms Alliot-Marie said that in that case the law should be changed.

"Presumably the law has the legal means to punish such an intolerable act against the French flag," said the minister's spokesman.

"If the existing law proves incomplete in this regard, it should be revised."

Score minus several million for the self-proclaimed homeland of human rights and freedom of expression. My thoughts on the matter echo satirical songwriter Roy Zimmerman's "Patriot Act" song...

"Is it more patriotic to uphold the constitution and burn the flag
Than to hold up the flag and burn the constitution ?"

Placebo blog post

I was going to write a proper blog post, giving in to the recent influx of demands from my audience of three (well, I know of at least three vocal members -- who knows how many more are lurking in the silent faceless mass?).

Then I came across this NHS-sponsored video of doctor and Grauniad columnist extraordinaire Ben Goldacre, MD, explaining the wonders and implications of the placebo effect. There's nothing I could say that could top it in terms of clarity and public interest, so I'll bow out for now and leave the stage to my betters. Ben, take it away.

A nice bowl of soup and some pot-pourri

Just two days left before I return to Boston and resume my (ir)regular blogging, so meanwhile, here's a classic rant from comedian Dara O'Briain about homeopathy and unscientific thinking in general.

Off the cuff

I just stumbled across this audiobook advertisement banner.

 

My reaction:

She can read?

Tactical Nuclear Penguin

As reported by the BBC News online service:

A controversial Scottish brewery has launched what it described as the world's strongest beer - with a 32% alcohol content.

Tactical Nuclear Penguin has been unveiled by BrewDog of Fraserburgh.

BrewDog was previously branded irresponsible for a 18.2% beer called Tokyo, which it then followed with a low alcohol beer called Nanny State.

I'm skeptical of the organoleptic qualities of the beverage in question, but I wouldn't mind trying a deci-pint of it. And I LOVE the name. Very spirited, if you'll pardon the lousy wordplay. The label is fun too, it reads:

This is an extremely strong beer; it should be enjoyed in small servings and with an air of aristocratic nonchalance.

Well the, if you look for me this weekend, I shall be in the 'drawing room working on my aristocratic nonchalance.

Of course a bunch of people now have their knickers all up in a twist... which was obviously the point of the whole exercise. Mission accomplished, BrewDog! Have a biscuit.

Happy 179th Birthday Belgium!

I have to confess I usually don't think much of our national holiday -- it's just another day off, really, and an excuse to have a bit of a party, overindulge in my favorite of our famed national products (does it need saying? of course, beer), criticize the King's speech and complain about the "drache nationale", the characteristic downpour of rain that usually marks formal occasions in our little kingdom by the sea.

Not this year though; there was some light sprinkling but no real "drache", and I can tell you why. All the rain is over here (see photo taken out my window), keeping me company and making me feel right at home. Hey, I'm not complaining; after a week of steaming hot weather, this feels lovely and refreshing. And it's like I have a little piece of Belgium with me today (the rain, and Hoegaarden on tap at the local bar since last week, yay!). Which is nice because being away from it makes me value it more, including the national holiday and the history that goes with it. Yes, after all due consideration, I heart Belgium.

Next time I should write a post, I think, about how I describe our people ("like Hobbits in Lord of the Rings") and our history ("shopping around Europe for a spare prince to make King") to, well, pretty much anybody. I suspect true patriots will weep and gnash their teeth and pull out their hair. In my defense, though, I suck at small talk, and my main interests in terms of conversation are either too obscure (plasmids) or too inflammatory (religion) for most social occasions. In contrast, I've noticed that this somewhat comedic bit I've developed poking fun (affectionately!) at the old country seems to be well received, drawing chuckles or even laughter from my conversation partners. Or I'm badly deluded and they're just being polite. But they don't usually slip away at the first possible opportunity [anymore], which I take to be a good sign.

But for now, I want to leave y'all with a wonderfully silly but sweet video made by a loyal Belgian citizen (who might have imbibed quite a bit of that national product I mentioned earlier) to remind us of the history of our national hymn, "La Brabançonne", in its old and new versions, and how to sing it (or not - World War I uniform optional, I believe). For the King, the Law, and Liberty!

The Eucharist as endosymbiont - a valid scientific hypothesis?

(major sarcasm alert)

There's a big Darwin festival going on this week at Cambridge (the Old World one, hence the "at" instead of "in"). Philosopher of science Daniel "I debunk the kooks so you don't have to" Dennett reports on a controversial Templeton-sponsored session that featured such exciting highlights as "kenotic (a.k.a. self-emptying) theology" and "evolutionary Christology", whatever that may be.

Dennett calls it "wonderfully awful"; here's my favorite bit of his account.

"I had an epiphany at the end of the session, but I kept it to myself: The Eucharist is actually a Recapitulation of the Eukaryotic Revolution. When Christians ingest the Body of Christ, without digesting it, but keep it whole (holistier-than-thou whole), they are re-enacting the miracle of endosymbiosis that paved the way for eventual multi-cellularity. And so, dearly beloved brethren, we can see that by keeping Christ intact in our bodies we are keeping His Power intact in our embodied Minds, or Souls, just the way the first Eukaryote was vouchsafed a double blessing of earthly competence that enabled its descendants to join forces in Higher Organizations. Evolutionary theology. . . . I think I get it! I can do it! It truly is intellectual tennis without a net."

Addendum: This comes as I've just received word (hi Popeye!) of a creationist conference at my alma mater, organized by the local baptist church (we have those in Belgium too? who knew?). Sounds like it was a hoot (complete with baby dinosaurs on Noah's Ark) but I find myself wishing that, in the absence of rigorous intellectual scrutiny, the university's catholicism at least had come out a bit more strongly. Perhaps in the form of a little display of religious intolerance? I mean, seriously, I'm all for freedom of speech -- let them rent out any other public space for all I care -- but I don't think the university should be lending respectability to these nutjobs.

Rise of the Farming Machines

Here's another guest post from Dad to keep my innumerable readership entertained while I settle back into my Boston life...

Brussels, June 18th. Today, thousands of tractors of all color and shapes converged to Brussels, capital of Europe. They came from Portugal, Hungary, Germany, Poland and all corners of the European Union, dashing (dashing, really? tractors?) through the highways, wreaking havoc on the daily commute. They are mostly desperate milk producers hit by the drop in sell price they get for their product. They lose money on every liter of the white stuff they sell. Consumers haven't seen anything from the price drop so someone is pocketing the change! Nobody understands it because quotas haven't even been lifted: it is a sheer drop in consumption. Today the demonstrations were peaceful but tonight many of the German fellows planned to stay in the city! Hundreds of tractors are squatting a very large park next to the EC institutions around the Schuman plaza. It was an eerie sight: big sturdy guys in work overalls and heavy boots, truly redneck types with big hands, tanned faces unshaven for a couple of days, young and older men, relatively few women, all huddled in groups around camp fires in the shadow of their big machines. Definitely not the usual crowd of eurocrats generally seen around here!

The true mark of a barbaric society

Allowing people to mow their lawn on a Sunday.

(I guess there is something positive that can be said about having an officially Catholic society after all. Yay for quiet Belgian Sundays.)

Also, leaf blowers are the gas-guzzling tools of Satan. Where's the Christian Right when you need them?

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Addendum: on the flipside, these worship-deficient heathens here have the wonderfully good taste to not sound off their church bells every other minute and a half. Whereas that problem plagued me all my years in Louvain-la-Neuve, I've not heard a peep from church bells here, and it's definitely not for lack of churches since every god-bothering denomination/ congregation/ sect apparently has to have its own.

A poor choice of target

I have previously written of school shootings and of my new-found passion for paintball (and never the twain shall meet, I should hope).

Now I read in a BBC news brief that the German government is planning to move against sports/games such as laser tag and paintball, in reaction to the recent school shooting in Winnenden, because they "simulate killing" and thus "trivialise and encourage violence".

Certainly this is the same old argument used to blame video games and violent movies for teen violence, although there is not a shred of supporting evidence from the many sociological studies that have been conducted on the subject. At best such studies uncover correlations, which should not be (but sadly, so often are) confused with causation, between aggressive tendencies and playing/watching violent material. In fact, more often than not, researchers note the cathartic effect of these activities. (Check out the two paintballers in the picture... don't they look happy and relaxed? Incidentally, what they're each holding up is a Tippman 98 Custom marker, which is what I just bought. A sweet little piece of kit, basic but solid.)

Speaking for myself I can definitely attest to the reality and benefits of the cathartic effect of simulated and/or controlled violence. And if I were to indulge in a brief bout of bar-top psychology, I'd venture to propose that these tragic kids who snap and go on killing rampages are not so much the victims of violent conditioning by games or movies, but rather of life situations in which they find insufficient means to express, channel or defuse the inner rage, whatever its origin, that seems to devour them. Stupendously original insight, I know.

My point is, could we please focus the discussion on the two points that are most likely to prevent future school shootings, i.e. 1) how to identify and actually help kids who are in danger of blowing their fuse and 2) let's control the frakking guns already.